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For this month’s After Dark at the Movies, I’m writing about The Damned, a folk horror film about 19th century Icelandic fishers who find themselves in desperate straits and faced with the consequences of a terrible choice. I found it interesting that the small crew included two women – an older woman who cooks for the crew and a younger woman who manages the site and the crew, and whose gender never seems to be an issue when it comes to exerting authority and leadership.
This movie sent me down an internet rabbit hole where I found that women were an integral part of Iceland’s fishing industry for centuries.
Iceland women show up in ancient sagas as seafarers. Gudrid the Far Traveller, who was probably born around 985, voyaged over much of Europe and visited Greenland, Vinland, Norway, and Rome. Aud the Deep-Minded lived even earlier, and shows up in several sagas as a woman who captained her own boat on a journey from Scotland to Iceland.
Many Icelandic women achieved legendary status. Thurídur Einarsdóttir was famous for never losing a single crew member and for having a side business as a private detective.
Anna Björnsdóttir kept fishing even while pregnant.
Rósamunda Sigmundsdóttir is famous for wearing red skirts to attract seals.
Halldóra Clubfoot filled her boat with exclusively female rowers and beat men in countless rowing challenges.
Icelandic fishing in the 18th and 19th centuries was not particularly segregated by gender.
In a review of Sea Women of Iceland, Jane Nadel-Klein states:
Throughout the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, it seems, fishing provided some relief and women played key roles as crew and even as boat captains.
Roberta Kwok wrote an essay about this same book in which she quotes the author:
Willson’s team combed through historical archives and publications to gather examples ranging from a female captain who led crews made up entirely of women, to expectant mothers who rowed late into pregnancy.
The sea “wasn’t a male space,” says Willson, a cultural anthropologist at the University of Washington in Seattle and a former seawoman. “It was not a feminist act in any way for them to go to sea.” It was just part of everyday life.
As the articles linked below describe in detail, women eventually became less involved on boats but deeply integral to fish processing which bolstered Iceland’s economy from 1903 to the 1969. Síldarstúlkur, also known as herring girls, poured into coastal towns to process fish directly from the boats. These young women changed Iceland’s economic world and found independence financially and socially.
While the herring girls enjoyed financial independence and a lively social life in dock towns that exploded into large cities, their work was difficult. The herring girls worked long hours, called at any time of day and night whenever a boat came in. The conditions were miserable and many started very young. One woman describes starting at work on the docks alongside her mother on her seventh birthday and being “an independent herring girl” by age eleven. The herring girls were passionate and savvy labor organizers who fought in strikes and demonstrations for pay equity and better working conditions.
Elizabeth Heath relates how this independence helped advance women’s suffrage and other rights for women in Iceland:
Herring girls’ organizing efforts took place around the same time that women won suffrage in Iceland. The country’s first women’s rights organization formed in 1894 and collected signatures on voting rights petitions. By 1907, 11,000 women and men—more than 12 percent of the population—had signed on. In 1915, women over 40 were granted the right to vote, and in 1920, the country introduced suffrage for all citizens ages 18 and up.
Later she relates:
In 1968, the Arctic Ocean herring fishery collapsed as a direct result of overfishing. The once-plentiful Atlantic herring was on the verge of extinction, and Iceland’s economy took a sharp tumble. Siglufjörður and dozens of towns like it emptied out. Fish processing plants were abandoned, boats sat idle in harbors and docks no longer hosted lively gatherings. But even as many herring girls returned to domestic duties, their impact on Icelandic politics and society continued to resonate.
Today only a small percentage of Icelandic women work on boats, but even the pervasive sexism in the industry has never driven them away altogether.
I fell into this topic because of my interest in The Damned, set in the 1800s. Sea Fever is another excellent independent horror movie. Set in 2017, it features an Irish fishing crew captained by a woman. The tiny crew includes another woman as well as a female biologist.
Real life fishing captain Linda Greenlaw became famous following the 2000 film adaptation of the nonfiction book A Perfect Storm by Sebastian Junger. She published her own memoir, The Hungry Ocean in 1999 and has published several subsequent nonfiction books as well as novels.
Back in Iceland, the 2025 documentary Strengur (also released as Tightlines) tells of young women learning to be fishing guides on Iceland’s rivers. Perhaps the depiction of women at sea and in the other roles within the fishing industry will bring women new recognition and opportunities within a changing social and environmental world.
Iceland’s Forgotten Fisherwomen
Seawomen of Iceland: Survival on the Edge by Margaret Willson (a review by Jane Nadel-Klein)
How Iceland’s Herring Girls Helped Bring Equality to the Island Nation
Women of the Seas: A Brief History
by Emily Bleeker
October 22, 2024 · Lake Union Publishing
Historical: AmericanRomance
This guest review comes from Lisa! A longtime romance aficionado and frequent commenter to SBTB, Lisa is a queer Latine critic with a sharp tongue and lots of opinions. She frequently reviews at All About Romance and Women Write About Comics, where she’s on staff, and you can catch her at @thatbouviergirl on Twitter. There, she shares good reviews, bracing industry opinions and thoughtful commentary when she’s not on her grind looking for the next good freelance job.
…
When I picked up When We Chased The Light, I had no idea it’s a continuation of Bleeker’s previous New York Times bestseller When We Were Enemies. That’s not the author’s fault, but Lake Union has to know this is going to cut into buys from confused newbies to the series, who have no idea that the first chunk of Vivian’s story happens in the previous book. How did she become an Italian translator at a POW camp? Previous book. How did she become a USO dancer? Previous book. How she met the secret love of her life, Father Antonio Trombello? Previous book. I won’t count that against this volume but it’s going to be quite a struggle if the reader hasn’t picked up the first volume.
Post-World War II, all-American sweetheart Vivian Snow became a major Hollywood icon. Living with the fact that her soldier husband has been declared MIA after going AWOL, she focuses on her career, leaving her daughter to be raised by her much put-upon sister. Vivian would do anything to be famous, unaware of the turbulence her romantic life bestows upon her future-actress daughter. Rumors that she had her abusive hubby bumped off during his disappearance do not help.
All the while, Vivian holds on to a close relationship with Father Trombello. Whispers of an affair linger in the air, but have never been proven. Did the priest break his vows? The truth lies in postcards sent between them – set to be auctioned off by Christies as part of Vivian’s estate.
I definitely recommend reading the first book, well, first. But once you do, the continuing adventures of Vivian are fascinating to follow. She’s a staunch, interesting character who rather reminds me of the “Marvelous” Midge Maisel, only minus the sense of humor. Vivian could’ve used more laughs in her life.
The book is overall a solid piece of fiction, if too focused on all of the men who abuse Vivian in a huge variety of ways. After awhile, the total lack of decent men in her life leaves one yearning for some kind of divine intervention to defrock Father Trombello. Then it becomes generational trauma, with Vivian’s little girl becoming a great actress with a messy series of relationships. The misogynistic mess that was Old Hollywood is enervating but also feels quite real.
When We Chased the Light should involve pre-reading its opening volume, but it’s a fairly decent overall experience even with its flaws.
RECOMMENDED: The Lion’s Den by Katherine St. John is $2.99 and a Kindle Daily Deal! Elyse wrote a Lightning Review for this one and gave it an A. Definitely check out her review for a list of triggers to be aware of.
This book is really two mysteries in one, and when they collide it’s a wonderful “ah-ha” moment. I wish I could say more than that, but I don’t want to ruin a single thing for another reader.
A dream vacation on a luxurious yacht turns deadly in this pulse-pounding beach read and perfect book club pick about glamour, friendship, romance, and betrayal on the Riviera.
Belle likes to think herself immune to the dizzying effects of fabulous wealth. But when her best friend, Summer, invites her on a glamorous girls’ getaway to the Mediterranean aboard her billionaire boyfriend’s yacht, the only sensible answer is yes. Belle hopes the trip will be a much-needed break from her stalled acting career and uniquely humiliating waitressing job, but once aboard the luxurious Lion’s Den, it becomes clear that all is not as it seems.
The dream vacation quickly devolves into a nightmare as Belle and the handful of other girlfriends Summer has invited are treated more like prisoners than guests by their controlling host, and Belle comes to see Summer for what she truly is: a vicious gold digger who will stop at nothing to get what she wants. Belle soon realizes she’s going to have to keep her wits about her — and her own big secret close to her chest — if she wants to make it off the yacht alive.
Duke, Actually by Jenny Holiday is $2.99! This is a holiday romance and the second book in the Christmas in Eldovia series. I remember Elyse reading it and commenting in Slack that she was enjoying it. I, sadly, don’t do holiday romances. What about you?
USA Today bestselling author Jenny Holiday follows A Princess for Christmas with another delightful contemporary Christmas romance between a playboy baron and a woman who has said goodbye to love.
There’s a royal wedding on, and things are about to get interesting.
Meet the man of honor
Maximillian von Hansburg, Baron of Laudon and heir to the Duke of Aquilla, is not having a merry Christmas. He’s been dumped by a princess, he’s unemployed, and his domineering father has sent him to New York to meet a prospective bride he has no interest in. In the city, he meets Dani Martinez, a smart (and gorgeous) professor he’s determined to befriend before their best friends marry in the Eldovian wedding of the century.
Meet the best woman
Newly single, no-nonsense New Yorker Dani is done with love—she even has a list entitled “Things I Will Never Again Do for a Man”—which is why she hits it off with notorious rake Max. He’s the perfect partner for snow angels in Central Park and deep conversations about the futility of love.
It’s all fun and games until their friendship deepens into attraction and, oops…
Falling in love was never part of the plan.
A Quantum Love Story by Mike Chen is $2.99! Shana recently mentioned this on Whatcha Reading and was having a good time with it. Have you read this one?
A cozy sci-fi novel from the New York Times bestselling author of Star Brotherhood
The only thing harder than finding someone in a time loop is losing them.
Grieving her best friend’s recent death, neuroscientist Mariana Pineda’s ready to give up everything to start anew. Even her career—after one last week consulting at a top secret particle accelerator.
Except the strangest thing a man stops her…and claims they’ve met before. Carter Cho knows who she is, why she’s mourning, why she’s there. And he needs Mariana to remember everything he’s saying.
Because time is about to loop.
In a flash of energy, it’s Monday morning. Again. Together, Mariana and Carter enter an inevitable life, four days at a time, over and over, without permanence except for what they share.
But just as they figure out this new life, everything changes. Because Carter’s memories of the time loop are slowly disappearing. And their only chance at happiness is breaking out of the loop—forever.
Fathomfolk by Eliza Chan is $2.99! This came out February of last year. Sarah reviewed the Illumicrate subscription box and this one was of their offerings.
Revolution is brewing in the semi-submerged city of Tiankawi, between humans and the fathomfolk who live in its waters. This gloriously imaginative debut fantasy, inspired by East Asian mythology and ocean folk tales, is a novel of magic, rebellion and change.
Welcome to Tiankawi – shining pearl of human civilization and a safe haven for those fleeing civil unrest. Or at least, that’s how it first appears. But in the semi-flooded city, humans are, quite literally, on top: peering down from shining towers and aerial walkways on the fathomfolk – sirens, seawitches, kelpies and kappas – who live in the polluted waters below.
For half-siren Mira, promotion to captain of the border guard means an opportunity to help her downtrodden people. But if earning the trust and respect of her human colleagues wasn’t hard enough, everything Mira has worked towards is put in jeopardy when Nami, a know-it-all water dragon and fathomfolk princess – is exiled to the city, under Mira’s watch. When extremists sabotage a city festival, violence erupts, as does the clampdown on fathomfolk rights. Both Nami and Mira must decide if the cost of change is worth paying, or if Tiankawi should be left to drown.
Today's Wreck is so unrecognizable I figured I better give you as many clues as possible before showing it to you.
Clue #1: He's big, green, and lives in a swamp.
Clue #2: He's a cartoon ogre.
Clue #3: His name is Shrek.
Clue #4: He looks like this:
Ok, have you guessed who it is yet?
'Cuz here comes the Wreck!
(Choo choo!)
AAAAAUUUGGGHHH!!!
Ahem.
Ok, so it's shiny, toothy, and has a homicidal glint in its dead, dead eyes.
On the other hand, now we know what would happen if the Incredible Hulk and Sloth from the Goonies ever had a love child. Right, Michelle Y.?
*****
P.S. What do you get when you combine a twenty year old movie with a ten year old saying?
Pure punny gold, that's what:
Check Yourself Before You Shrek Yourself Shirt
That'll do, Donkey. That'll do.
(Also comes in purple and gray!)
******
And from my other blog, Epbot:
Happy July! Summer is heating up with a vengeance, both in the air and on the page, so break out some cool drinks, cue up your next read, and enjoy!
Author: Jordon Greene
Released: July 1, 2025 by Summit Ridge Press
Genre: Contemporary Romance, LGBTQIA, Romance
Months ago a cheating ex-boyfriend left Kolton Wolf’s world shattered.
Jaded and angry, romance becomes whatever ends up in his bed from the apps or the club with a strict no-repeat policy.
Then he comes into the picture.
It’s Halloween at the “club” when Kolton first lays eyes on him. A Greek god in full costume, what little there is of it. Kolton can’t take his eyes off them. They’re perfect, beautiful. A few steps across the bar and what looks like rejection leads Kolton to an amazing steamy night with conversation far exceeding the usual surface level hookup he’s used to. The next day Kolton breaks his own no-repeat policy and reaches out to the boy.
Ghosted.
No one after that reaches the Greek god’s lofty levels. They’re simply temporary enjoyment between the ever repeating flashes of that night. Is Kolton fated to only relieve his angelic encounter as a dream, or will time and chance bring them back together before Kolton gives up?
Greene’s best known for his YA Noahverse novels, which makes it extra intriguing to see him break into Adult with a spicy romance, the perfect length (just under 200 pages) to make an ideal beach read.
Author: Karelia Stetz-Waters
Released: July 15, 2025 by Forever
Genre: Contemporary Romance, LGBTQIA, Romance
A delicious, heartwarming romantic comedy about big dreams, life-changing friendships, and the people who bring out your best.
Six years ago, eco-chef Alice Sullivan and her culinary-school rival almost gave into the burning tension between them. But those kisses? Just the heat of competition boiling over. Sullivan never expected to see Kia after graduation . . . until Kia crashes back into her life with a plan to buy Sullivan’s beloved Portland greenspace.
Kia has worked hard building her social media empire as the big-hearted glitter-bomb queen of the food-truck scene. Now she’s one step away from opening a foodie utopia for underrepresented culinary talents. But Kia’s plans catch the attention of a bulldozer-happy food conglomerate, and now both Kia and Sullivan’s dreams are on the line. When a legal loophole turns out to be the only way to save what they each love most, they’re left with one pull off a very public fake marriage to obtain the deed to the land and keep their old rivalry under control.
As the line between fake and real love blurs, can Kia and Sullivan set aside their differences and find the perfect recipe for happily ever after?
The Stetz-Waters writing pair are at it again with another charmer, this one about two culinary school rivals reunited over another fight that pushes them into a marriage of convenience. The tension is high, both sexual and otherwise, and the care and love Sullivan has for the contentious land and its associate memories leaps off the page.
Author: Mary Roach
Released: July 29, 2025 by Montlake
Genre: Contemporary Romance, LGBTQIA, Romance
In this glittering, sapphic reimagining of Helen of Troy set in modern day mobster Greece, Helen is the daughter of a powerful crime lord on Paris is the woman hellbent on destroying her—if they don’t fall for each other first.
They’re thrown together in an opulent world of privilege, power, and cover-ups—and the closer they grow, the more the fragile balance of power in the world of crime lords begins to fray.
Because if Helen doesn’t choose to abandon her newfound connection with Paris and marry into the alliance her father arranged, they could all go to war.
And Helen and Paris might just be ready to let them.
I don’t read a lot of dark romance, but Sapphic, mafia, and Greek mythology-inspired? I absolutely had to check out Roach’s newest, and was not disappointed. (Note: she also has a YA coming out in September called Seven for a Secret that sounds similarly excellent and comps to Sadie, one of my favorite YAs of all time.) It’s vicious, it’s sexy, and the chemistry between Helen and Paris blazes.
Author: Emma-Claire Sunday
Released: July 17, 2025 by Harlequin Historical
Genre: Historical: European, LGBTQIA, Romance
Will this cynical fortune hunter find her true match? Find out in this enchanting sapphic historical romance
How can Lady Sylvia save herself from financial ruin?
Step 1: Move to the seaside for the summer, where there will be no shortage of wealthy bachelors holidaying.
Step 2: Strike a deal with local farmer if Hannah can help Sylvia bag a rich husband, Sylvia will fund Hannah’s dream of opening a cheese shop.
Step 3: Charm her way into luncheons, parties and exclusives balls, but do not start to confuse friendship with romantic feelings for Hannah.
Step 4: Focus on her fortune hunting scheme and not let her heart get carried away by her unexpected and magical kiss with Hannah!
There’s just something about seeing a Harlequin historical with a Sapphic pair on it, especially in an era when mass market paperbacks seem to be almost as rare as, well, Sapphic historicals. This one sounds charming and delightful!
Author: Clio Evans
Released: July 15, 2025
Genre: Contemporary Romance, LGBTQIA, Novella, Western, Romance
Series: Rainbow Ranch #3
In this steamy polyamorous cowboy romance novella, Beau Adams finds that the best things always happen in threes…
Living in the heart of Oklahoma, I’m just a cowboy with boots rooted firmly in running Rainbow Ranch. As eldest brother and professional worrier, I spend my days working hard with my family and yearning for someone I can never have.
Priscilla. She’s called Rainbow Ranch home for years and without her, my world would fall apart. Pris is gorgeous and smart and deserves everything good in her life. While I’ve always had eyes for her, I’ve never been brave enough to cross the fence between friends and lovers.
When a charming storm chaser named Sky arrives at our ranch, the three of us decide to give our wild hearts a chance. Sky is charismatic and sweeter than a cinnamon bun, and they just might be the missing piece we’ve needed.
But with pains from the past and worries about the future, Pris isn’t sure she can risk being hurt again, Sky isn’t sure Rainbow Ranch can be their home, and I’m not sure I can be the cowboy Pris and Sky deserve.
Can fate lasso the three of us into giving love a chance? Or will this whirlwind romance be our first and last rodeo?
The Rainbow Ranch series launches this month, kicking off with M.A. Wardell’s Stirring Spurs, and this polyam entry easily caught my eye because, well, look at it! It sounds sweet and sexy and like a much needed addition to queer canon, with its western backdrop and M/F/X romance. Yee-haw!
If you’re thinking you might need to check out this cookbook, yes, yes you do. And if you’ve got a potluck coming up, this book has you covered.
Inspired by other Patreon folks, including Chris DeRosa at Fixing Famous People, I’ve made some of the Patreon content free so you can sample what we’ve got.
This collection of special previews is available now to all listeners, and there’s a link in the show notes to dive in. And if you like our free samples, join us in the Patreon community where there’s bonus content and more.
Listen to the podcast →You can find Gaby León at HappyGabyCooking on TikTok and Instagram.
We also mentioned:
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Sponsor us through Patreon! (What is Patreon?)
What did you think of today's episode? Got ideas? Suggestions? You can talk to us on the blog entries for the podcast or talk to us on Facebook if that's where you hang out online. You can email us at sbjpodcast@gmail.com or you can call and leave us a message at our Google voice number: 201-371-3272. Please don't forget to give us a name and where you're calling from so we can work your message into an upcoming podcast.
Thanks for listening!
RECOMMENDED: Partners in Crime by Alisha Rai is $2.99! Lara read this one and gave it an A- in a Lightning Review:
Because of my absolute abhorrence of a Big Misunderstanding plot, I nearly didn’t come back to this book, so if that turns you off, too, don’t make my mistake. You’ll be rewarded with a fun, emotionally nuanced, and surprising heist adventure – a very memorable one!
Indian Matchmaking meets Date Night in this fun, romantic adventure by Alisha Rai — “One of the very brightest romance writers working right now.” (Entertainment Weekly)
Mira Patel’s got a solid accounting career, good friends, and a whole lot of distance between her and her dysfunctional family. All that’s missing is a stable romantic relationship. Armed with a spreadsheet and professional help, she sets out to find her partner in only legal activities, but much to her matchmaker’s dismay, no one is quite right.
Including Naveen Desai, the very first match she unceremoniously rejected.
Lately Naveen’s been too focused on keeping his sick grandfather’s law firm afloat to think about love, and he’s stunned when Mira walks back into his life to settle her aunt’s affairs. He’s determined to keep things professional…though it’s impossible not to be intrigued by all of the secrets piling up around Mira.
If getting back together with an ex is a bad idea, getting kidnapped with one is even worse.
Suddenly, Naveen and Mira find themselves in a mad dash through Las Vegas to escape jewel thieves, evade crime bosses, and follow the clues to untangle the mess her family left behind. As her past comes back to haunt her, Mira despairs of ever finding someone who might understand her…but maybe, over the course of one wild night, she’ll find that he’s right by her side.
RECOMMENDED: Two Rogues Make a Right by Cat Sebastian is 99c! Lara wrote a Lightning Review for this one and gave it an A:
This review could easily extend to countless paragraphs of my simply listing the ways in which I love this book and what it has done for me, but I must stop so that you, dear Bitchery, can pick this book up and enjoy it yourselves.
Will Sedgwick can’t believe that after months of searching for his oldest friend, Martin Easterbrook is found hiding in an attic like a gothic nightmare. Intent on nursing Martin back to health, Will kindly kidnaps him and takes him to the countryside to recover, well away from the world.
Martin doesn’t much care where he is or even how he got there. He’s much more concerned that the man he’s loved his entire life is currently waiting on him hand and foot, feeding him soup and making him tea. Martin knows he’s a lost cause, one he doesn’t want Will to waste his life on.
As a lifetime of love transforms into a tender passion both men always desired but neither expected, can they envision a life free from the restrictions of the past, a life with each other?
The Hurricane Wars by Thea Guanzon is $1.99! This was Guanzon’s debut and is a fantasy romance. I believe Elyse mentioned this one on a previous Hide Your Wallet. This is also a title that joins the ranks of published Reylo fics.
A land ravaged by storms and conquerors…
A refuge across the sea that comes at a price…
A volatile alliance between two bitter enemies…
A growing attraction as dangerous as it is irresistible…
On opposite sides of a vicious war, a soldier who can channel light magic and a prince who summons shadows find themselves locked in a deadly dance that neither can seem to truly win. As the Continent falls to howling winds and violent lightning brought on by a ruthless emperor’s fleet of stormships, the only way for Talasyn to save countless lives is to reclaim her birthright in a mysterious archipelago over the Eversea—and to enter into a fraught political marriage with Prince Alaric, the very man she had sworn to destroy.
Like Talasyn, Alaric makes no secret of his displeasure with such an arrangement. But, when a new threat emerges to shatter a fragile peace, necessity forces the reluctant couple to work together while wrestling with the inconvenient but undeniable bloom of desire amidst a backdrop of secrets and cutthroat political intrigue.
What would you do to win a war? What would you do to save all that you hold dear? And what do you do when the person you hate finds their way into your heart, beneath the rising tempests?
The Weaver Takes a Wife by Sheri Cobb South is FREE! I’ve seen this book compared to the romances of Mimi Matthews and Mary Balogh. Have you picked this one up before?
Haughty Lady Helen Radney is one of London’s most beautiful women and the daughter of a duke, but her sharp tongue has frightened away most of her suitors. When her father gambles away his fortune, the duke’s only chance for recouping his losses lies in marrying off Lady Helen to any man wealthy enough to take a bride with nothing to recommend her but a lovely face and an eight-hundred-year-old pedigree. Enter Mr. Ethan Brundy, once an illegitimate workhouse orphan, now owner of a Lancashire textile mill and one of England’s richest men. When he glimpses Lady Helen at Covent Garden Theatre, he is instantly smitten and vows to marry her. But this commonest of commoners will have his work cut out for him if he hopes to win the heart of his aristocratic bride.
I'm a firm believer in celebrating just about everything with cake, and from the submissions you guys send in I'm clearly not the only one. However, there's celebrating, say, a new vasectomy or Daddy's parole, and then there's the stuff that some people might consider, well, inappropriate cake material.
Not me, of course. No sir! Heck, I say, you wanna get pregnant? Then SAY IT WITH CAKE:
Or you're happy you DIDN'T get pregnant? Say THAT with cake.
Let's say your friend Cory suffered a nasty seizure recently. That warrants a cookie cake, right?
(Remember, kids: It's "i before e except after c." Except in the word "seizure.")
And remember that time your friend lost a finger to the lawn mower? Just in case he doesn't, let's remind him! With cake!
I like how this is less a "get well" cake, and more an "IN YOUR FACE! With love from the Lawn Mower" cake.
Driving while intoxicated is a serious crime, so be sure to tell your friends you won't stand for such behavior. Also with cake.
I like to imagine the candles are mini breathalyzers.
(How cool would that invention be? Right? I'll make millions. MILLIONS, I say!)
The world is too success-oriented. We should be sending a better message to younger generations. A message that says, "Hey, no matter what, at least you'll get a cake out of this."
Dangit. Why don't I know any lady farmers to give this to? WHY?!
(PS - You misspelled "Awesome." But I'll let it slide, because melons.)
And finally, my favorite:
Hang on... we get cake for that?
WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME?!
Thanks to Anony M., Katelyn, KG, Paul S., Paige S., April B., & Stephanie K. for the inspiration.
*****
P.S. That reminds me of my Wonder Womb DIY, but if you're not feeling crafty you can buy this!
"Ivy the Plush Uterus"
I'm told "Ivy" is a play on "In Vitro," but I still say Baron Stabby McCrampus of Bloodhaven is a more appropriate moniker.
*****
And from my other blog, Epbot:
This guest review comes from Lucynka! Lucynka is a long-time lurker, who has occasionally commented under a couple different names in the past. Over the last few years, she’s become really interested in the history of the romance genre, particularly those forgotten or oft-overlooked parts. You can find her on Bluesky @lucynka.bsky.social, or else over on her WordPress, where she blogs about “obscure bullshit,” including a lot of romance pulp magazines from the 1920s-’40s.
…
First of all, a big thanks to Heather S and her Half Price Books excursion for putting this book on my radar. While all of the books featured in that post were solid gold in their own ways, The Lilac Ghost caught my eye specifically because 1.) that is indeed a very pretty cover, and 2.) who doesn’t love a ghost? The (even briefer) cover copy for the 1972 reprint even promised that it was “a very romantic ghost”!
Combine that with the fact that I was having A Week, and, well, I decided to take a chance and treat myself to the more reasonably-priced of two copies that I managed to find online. These vintage Gothics tend to come in one of three flavors—good, bad, or bonkers—so even though 1970 is actually way later than my usual wheelhouse, I was in need of a nice mental distraction, and thus hoped that even if it wasn’t good, it would at least fall into that “bonkers” territory.
And readers? To my delight, it was about 50% bonkers, 50% genuinely good and suspenseful, and 100% entertaining. And just in case you need a refresher before we dive in, the cover copy:
After a whirlwind courtship at sea, Virginia had married Rick Bradley and gone with him to his ancestral home, an isolated house perched on the peak of a mountain and shunned by villagers and tradesmen. Now, after three weeks, Rick had gone off without warning, leaving his wife alone in a raging storm, with no company save a few women and the lilac ghost of Bradley Hall. And the ghost which walked the garden by the lilac bush was hardly reassuring.
My favorite part of The Lilac Ghost is probably the beginning, as the author wastes no time and just throws you right into the deep end.
Do we get a chapter showing the heroine’s “whirlwind courtship”?
Do we even get a scene where Virginia discovers her husband’s note, unceremoniously letting her know that he had to disappear on Sudden Business?
NO! Straight away, they’re already married, he’s already left, and the wind is already howling as Virginia writes a letter to her twin sister, Carol. (Yesss, Ms. Saylor! Give the readers what they want!)
Now, much like Chekhov’s Gun, I’m a firm believer in the idea that if you introduce a twin in a story, they’d better metaphorically go off at some point. As such, I am pleased to report that sister Carol does indeed go off later. But also…
Carol never impersonates Virginia, nor does Virginia ever get mistaken for Carol and thus get told something she wasn’t supposed to know, etc. There is effectively nothing to stop them from just being plain, regular-degular sisters, and the story might even make more sense if they didn’t look exactly the same?
The fact that the author was still like, “NAH, IT’S TWIN TIME, BABY,” in the face of all this is a move I kind of have to respect.
Anyway, Virginia’s writing a letter to her sister, but a storm is raging! The wind blows the fancy French doors of the library open, and as she gets up to close them, she’s distracted by a lightning strike and a subsequent flash of fire in the distance, down the mountainside. Will she and the three maids, and Rick’s unmarried aunt Cordelia, have to abandon the mansion and flee for their lives???
No! Because just then “a strong, wiry, muscular, masculine hand” grabs her wrist, pulls her out onto the terrace, into a man’s arms, and he kisses her!
It’s Rick!
But no—Rick never kissed her so passionately, so possessively, and Rick has green eyes, not blue! Who the fuck is this ardent stranger who looks so uncannily like her husband???
The man is “mocking” and “satiric,” all, “Didn’t they tell you about me, Virginia~? Aren’t you going to invite Rick’s favorite cousin in before he catches pneumonia~?” He’s giving off big “mad relative in the attic” vibes, and you, like me, might find yourself wondering, “Omg, is this the titular ‘ghost’???”
FOOLS! You, like me, would be wrong then, because just then the actual ghost appears! A spooky vision in white, out near the lilac bush, that disappears into the garden! Virginia uses the supernatural distraction to get away from this sexy, frightening stranger, and—not trusting that he’s necessarily who he says he is—locks the French doors against him. She then sensibly realizes that this potential madman isn’t likely to give up so easily, and she manages to get the front door bolted just in time to thwart him. He pounds on the door as Virginia tries to think of any other possible entrances she needs to shore up, but then there’s a thud and a woman’s scream that reverberates from the second floor. For reference, we are a mere seven pages into this book.
Chapter two opens with the line, “I charged up the stairs like a woman zeroing in on a nylon stocking bargain day sale”—which is admittedly not as good as, “Kaliq dismounted with the same speed and grace as he would remove himself from the body of a woman he had just made love to,” but it’s still pretty up there, imo.
Virginia checks on Aunt Cordelia, only to find her so sound asleep she’s damn near comically snoring, which means the scream probably came from the maids’ quarters. As Virginia makes her way toward them, however, she sees a flash of white around a corner. Omg, the ghost is now inside!
Virginia, herself, screams, at which point two of the maids come running—senior maid Rilla and subordinate Suz. We then get this fantastically dumb and melodramatic exchange:
“The ghost walks!” I burst out.
Suz clutched at Rilla’s arm. “She always walks when death strikes!”
“Be still!” Rilla snapped.
The maid’s frightening words somehow had the effect of bringing me to my senses. I straightened.
“There are no ghosts,” I said in my no-nonsense secretarial tone of voice.
BITCH, YOU LITERALLY JUST SAID IT WALKS. PICK A LANE, VIRGINIA.
Anyway, it’s determined that the initial scream came from Kathy, the youngest maid. She saw the ghost, screamed and sprained her ankle in her ensuing panic, and now she’s sobbing her heart out as only a sixteen-year-old girl can, because she won’t be able to keep her date with a fella.
It turns out Kathy wrote a poem, got it published in a magazine, at which point an admirer of the poem wrote to her and they struck up a correspondence. They were supposed to finally meet at the railroad station tomorrow, as he’s coming in on an afternoon train, but now that plan’s obviously fucked.
Oh, and the guy’s name is supposedly Alan Dale (like Alan-a-Dale, from the tale of Robin Hood), and Kathy told him she’s the illegitimate daughter of an aristocratic family because she was ashamed of being a mere maid. Virginia is like, “Jfc, Kathy!”
I wished I could meet the man. I most certainly would give him a piece of my mind, trying to take advantage of a naive sixteen-year-old girl.
As an aside, we never find out exactly how old Virginia is (my guess is early- to mid-twenties?), but it’s worth noting that I actually quite like her as a heroine. She’s admittedly something of a cipher (she has a twin sister, worked as a secretary in a publishing house before her marriage, and that’s about all we ever learn of her), but she generally has a good, sensible head on her shoulders, which makes it pretty easy to root for her.
Her voice isn’t so distinct that the story really needed to be told from her first-person POV, but I at least never got tired of being literally stuck in her head, and while there are some irritatingly of-its-time gender politics at play, where Virginia feels it’s only right to defer to a man in certain situations, for the most part I feel she holds up relatively well to modern reading (see: the above situation with Kathy).
Anyway, with the upstairs drama having since been sorted out (Virginia decides she’ll meet Kathy’s mystery man at the train station herself tomorrow, to suss him out), and with the rain thankfully in the process of letting up, our heroine returns to the library to finish her letter to her sister. But there’s one loose end she forgot to tie up, and as such, she’s stopped dead in her tracks by the sight of her handsome terrace intruder casually sitting at her desk, seemingly waiting for her.
She’s like, “Holy shit, how did you get in?” and he merely lifts up some keys and says, “Through the front door.” It turns out he really is Rick’s cousin Jeff (the reactions of both Aunt Cordelia and the maids later confirm this), and he sets about to catching Virginia as she almost faints, then serves her some coffee while she recovers from everything that has happened since the first page.
Now, you might find yourself asking here: if Jeff had keys to the place and could get in at any time, then why the hell was he skulking around on the terrace in the rain, practically cackling like a madman, and the only answer I can give you is, “Idk, for drama???”
For that matter, why did he passionately smooch a woman he knew to be his cousin’s wife?
The explanation he gives is that Virginia “looked very kissable”—which is both a shit reason to effectively assault someone, and (as we’ll come to realize) strangely out of character, as well; for all that he was introduced like some crazy black sheep of the family, Jeff presents from here on out as a surprisingly normal and more or less respectful guy. I kept waiting for him to again get all handsy and kissy with Virginia as the book progressed, and to my amazement it never really happened.
Well, Virginia smells lilacs, Jeff goes back outside to investigate, the lights go out, and the telephone starts ringing. It’s Rick! He tells her he’ll be home tomorrow evening, and then, after she hangs up, Virginia gets attacked, and it becomes apparent that the lilac ghost—or at least this particular manifestation of it—is corporeal, after all. Virginia manages a scream, the “ghost” goes running, the lights come back on, and it’s then that Jeff reappears, this time with sourpuss Aunt Cordelia.
As Rick clearly couldn’t be bothered to inform Virginia of the Greater Bradley Situation before fucking off, Jeff does her the favor and gets her up to speed. It’s here that we get the main thrust of the story, which (contrary to what the cover copy and the first couple chapters might have indicated) is not actually about melodramatic happenings in the middle of a storm, but is in fact all about inheritance issues.
Basically, back in the day, Grandpa Bradley built the family fortune and had five children—three boys and two girls. Of the boys, oldest son Samuel begat Rick, and Nicholas begat Jeff.
Cordelia was the “good daughter,” with a head for business, who never married, and the other daughter Rosamunde was the wild one, the family beauty and flirt, who died under mysterious circumstances fifteen years ago: she was found at the bottom of the local waterfall with a broken neck, and while it was officially deemed an accident, there’s always been the lingering suspicion that she was pushed, either by a jealous lover or a disapproving family member. Supposedly the lilac ghost is Rosamunde’s spirit, looking for her murderer; she seems to show up every year in May, around the anniversary of her death.
There were rumors that Rosamunde might have had a child before she died, and so Grandpa in turn tied up her ten million dollar inheritance before he died, with the stipulation that if no heir was found within fifteen years, then the money would be divided among the remaining relatives. And, well, that fifteen year mark just passed, which is actually—as we later find out—related to why Rick had to leave so goddamn abruptly before the start of the story (and, coincidentally, why Jeff suddenly arrived).
Further complicating matters is that around the time of Rosamunde’s death, hitherto unmentioned third son Stan was like, “FUCK THIS FAMILY,” and ran away to sea. It is unknown whether he’s still alive, married, had any children, or whatever. And sure enough, glamorous Elaine and her teenage son Vern show up, claiming to be his widow and child, which would entitle them not only to Stan’s money, still sitting unused in a New York City bank, but to a quarter of Rosamunde’s.
It’s here that we get the legit good part of the book, as the story goes from being crazy, over-the-top Gothic shenanigans, and instead turns into a pretty solid and suspenseful mystery, as Virginia inadvertently finds herself roped into this mess as Rick’s legally wedded wife—or his potential widow, as the case may be. After all, the fewer surviving family members there are means there’s that much more money to go around, and clearly somebody is out for blood—the only question is who?
Furthermore, what about the lilac ghost?
Is it really Rosamunde’s spirit, trying to find her killer?
Someone simply taking advantage of the family legend for their own nefarious purposes?
Or is Rosamunde—somehow, miraculously—still alive and wreaking regular, non-paranormal vengeance?
So it’s good fun, with genuinely good pacing and misdirections, and it kept me genuinely riveted to the pages. I even…
Where The Lilac Ghost falls down, however (or else goes back to being wonderfully, hilariously unhinged, depending on how you feel about these things), is the end:
Rick’s notorious womanizing ways and his suddenly getting married while on a cruise fucked that up, though—especially when it turned out that his new wife was Carol’s sister. This is where the whole twin thing really makes no sense, because you’d think Rick would have recognized the familial relation upon first meeting Virginia (SHE AND CAROL LITERALLY LOOK EXACTLY ALIKE), and thus would have, yanno, gotten a hold of his bad self and not married her?
Like, it really would be better for the narrative if they’d just been regular sisters, and Rick only realized the relation after the fact.
As for why Rick married Virginia in the first place? It’s never adequately explained, but Jeff surmises that he might have genuinely fallen in love with her, if only for a short while (and presumably been too arrogant to worry about how this might throw a wrench into his well-laid murder plans and also piss off his romantic partner-in-crime).
Furthermore…
And the father? Elaine’s own father, Lew Whittaker, who runs the town general store and who was having an extra-marital affair with Rosamunde back in the day. Lew and his wife had been raising the boy as their own when Grandpa Bradley started searching for the kid, and rather than let him fall into this fucked-up rich family’s hands, Lew paid Elaine and Stan to take him away and care for him.
WHAT DRAMA, AMIRITE? Messy enough for Jerry Springer, for sure.
Oh, and also…
So it isn’t perfect.
Technically-speaking, it has a weak end and some definite plot holes—one of my favorites being when Virginia finds a begonia plant in the hospital trash (it had been sent to Rick while he recovered from some injuries) and there’s mention of the card slipping between the outer paper and the pot; you expect that this card will later serve as some dramatic reveal, like maybe the name of the person who sent it will be important, but nope—the begonia plant gets metaphorically dropped and is never returned to. (*Muah* chef’s kiss, I love it.)
But for all its arguable flaws, I do think the good outweighs the bad here—or at least the entertaining outweighs the irritating. (It kept me obsessively turning the pages, so clearly it was doing something right, yeah?) Like most of these vintage Gothics, the emphasis is on the mystery and suspense far more than the romance (the romance is effectively reduced to a subplot), but as a subplot it worked for me, and—weak end aside—I’d still dub it an above-average example of its subgenre.
Unfortunately, it seems to be a pretty hard title to come by these days, but if it sounds like your jam and you happen to run across a copy in the wild, I do indeed recommend picking it up.